5-minute read
Written by: Coach Stephen Burba CSCS, USAW, RPR
One of the worst feelings in the world is helplessness. Especially when it comes after a moment in life in which you were highly motivated and enthused to do something; a goal or adventure you have never done before, and were defeated by. My inspiration for today’s blog comes from “doom scrolling” our business page and seeing all the clients we have helped accomplish things they originally thought impossible. Whether it was weight loss, living a pain free life (or at least knowing how to manage pains when they appear), or getting the strength and physique “gains” they were looking for. They all had something in common that we had to tackle first; the feelings of defeat and helplessness.
I have talked with countless clients who have come in seeking change with all the motivation and frills one can have only to wind up failing two weeks in and sometimes never continuing after the first day! The reason? Too many changes at once. Too many battlefronts to try and seek victory in. None of us have the resources needed to make a complete lifestyle change in one day and have it stick. What’s worse, is that everytime we fail, it eats at us and damages our sense of self and our sense of our own capabilities. And the more we fail, the more that image of our ideal self begins to look impossible. After enough losses, we inevitably give up. It becomes harder and harder to motivate ourselves for change and usually it ends up taking a catastrophe to get the spark we need to become someone new (or try at least). These losses will push us into depression and helplessness if we do not find a way to “win.”
One of the lessons I have had to learn as a coach over my years is how to guide someone who comes in fired up and ready for change in a way that not only conserves that high energy motivation but also adds to it. When you finish this blog, I want you to be able to win. I want you to be able to set yourself up to win. What I am going to explain will sound simple and is simple but it is built from the complex understanding of our brain and nervous system.
I am going to lay out three steps you can take that will begin your journey to success. Take them seriously no matter how simple they sound and you will win.
Step one and probably the easiest step; know what you want (who you want to be) and put some kind of value on it. “I want to lose 20lbs,” or “I want to hit a new squat PR,” etc. And just so we don’t leave anyone out, this works for all goals. “I want to live pain free,” “I want to be more social” etc.
Step Two, the hardest step. Think about what kind of lifestyle this new version of you lives. This will be your map to success.
What is their day-to-day life like? If you don’t know what it takes to hit a new squat PR, especially if you have been stuck around a certain weight for a while, then go consult with a strength professional. Just do me a favor and don’t consult with a generic personal trainer. If you are trying to break strength plateaus, you need to speak with someone who trains strength and or performance athletes.
Write down what this lifestyle looks like in regards to decision-making. If the new version of you is twenty pounds lighter then they probably do a form of intermittent fasting, have less sugar in the house, etc. Maybe they eat less carbs or drink less soda. Write that down. If the new you squats 50lbs more than you do right now, what kind of training do you think they have? How well are they recovering from that training? How strong is their back and legs compared to yours? Are their legs bigger? Then you need more hypertrophy. Is their back stronger? You probably need more carries and hinging in your training etc. Write down as many things as you can think of that this better version of you is doing.
Step Three. Begin changing your day-to-day one DECISION at a time, NOT one category or lifestyle at a time. This is where most fail. We try to make this massive change not realizing, and definitely not being prepared for, the domino effect of that change. Let's say we cut out sugar completely. The body, especially the cultures in your gut biome that were used to a fresh supply of it, will begin their small revolt leading to mood and energy fluctuations. Here is some math to consider:
Mood +Energy Fluctuations / Willpower
If you have a lot of will power then you can probably grit through these fluctuations. But, if not, then they will win. And each time you lose, you will feel less and less capable of becoming the “you” you want to be. Instead, we start with just ONE decision a day that we know our future self would have made and soak in the win. Each decision we make that matches the life and person we want to live and become will fuel the willpower needed for the next decision and so on. Just like compounding interest, we can get compounding wins. Eventually, we will be making more decisions like our future self instead of our old self. The perception of this matters most. Each new and better choice will change what makes you “you” right now and rebrand you; rewire your brain, behaviors, reactions etc. This is why step Two is so important. The clearer you can visualize that new person and understand what they are doing, the more choices you can allow yourself to have to win. How many decisions, or better yet, opportunities, can you give yourself each day to consume less sugar? Removing sugar from your house is only one decision that actually takes away other possible decisions later. If you pick up a candy bar and say no, you made a choice and won. If you don’t have candy in the house then you don’t get the chance to say no. Instead, you will begin feeling restricted and almost punished, yes like a child. Giving children a choice vs. restricting them or immediately telling them what to do instigates revolt and slows down learning. This is a rabbit hole of rewards and punishment but I think you get the jist. Give yourself opportunities to win. The more opportunities you have and take advantage of, the higher the compounding effects. Eventually, you will simply be that new person. One day you will wake up and be living that life and it will hit you like an “ah hah” moment. But if you run around with a carrot on a string, you will burn yourself out without making any substantial or sustainable progress. This is neuroscience put to work.
I now walk my clients through this method in the beginning of our time together. We learn and practice how to set up victories in our day-to-day life AND in the gym. We minimize our losses, build up our sense of self, and become our ideal version of ourselves one choice at a time. Instead of chasing the carrot, grab the string and pull it to you one inch at a time.
If you need more guidance, don’t hesitate to reach out:
EMAIL: bowlinggreenpowerhouse@gmail.com
IG: @bg_powerhouse, @belite_strengthcoach
